the death that birthed me -
The End of Control -
In 2020, my reality collapsed.
Everything I believed myself to be….son…..husband…..Myles….my identity was shattered in a moment of brutal clarity.
I found out that the man I thought was my biological father… wasn’t.
The story I had been living wasn’t mine. It was inherited. Installed. Imagined. And in that collapse, the illusion cracked open. The veil of illusion thinned. I lost myself. Or rather—I lost what was never really me. Myles, the ego, the role, the identity. I watched him burn. And I made a vow: To build a reality from observable, indisputable facts, pure truth. No more stories. No illusions. No more masks.
And DEFINITELY no more conditioned love.
Thats the hardest subconscious program to break because society programs that into our brains since childhood. Through songs, movies, stories, the people who came before us….. Promising us that happiness will come when you find your “ONE TRUE LOVE”.
At that time, I was in a marriage that looked perfect from the outside…… but felt like a prison. We weren’t ourselves. We were playing roles for each other. And I saw it clearly:
unconditional love cannot survive in a conditional relationship.
I had spent my life trying to own people. To hold love by controlling it. But the more I tried to hold it, the quicker it died in my hands. I left the relationship not out of resentment, but out of reverence. Because I knew we both deserved to be free.
The Reprogramming -
I spiraled. I suffered. I questioned everything. Until I realized: My emotions weren’t caused by others. They were caused by the way I programmed my own mind, consciously or unconsciously. My beliefs. My expectations. My attachments. So I began the reprogramming. Not through affirmations or new-age fluff— But by grounding myself in undeniable, observable truths. There are facts that cannot be argued. Laws of life that just are. And I built my inner world around them.
Now i walk in Truth. Now i am the flame -
I am not a guru. I am not enlightened. I am not a teacher. I am the flame. And everything I do, my book, my tattoos, my words, my art, is lit from that fire. I don’t want to save anyone. But if my story burns away even one illusion in your life… then the fire is doing its work.